Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Phreakmeister]

Alastair Campbell: I did not sex up that chicken's dossier

Tony Blair: By crossing that road, that chicken is a grave and imminent threat to us and our interests

George W. Bush: Bring him on

[AWPrime]

:smash :mad :smash :o :smash :mad :smash :clap


The sound of Bush being beaten to death by a chicken.

[aclu14]

William Randolph Hearst - You provide the chicken, I'll provide the road.

[DustyBottoms]

She was suicidal after seeing her husband having sex with all the other hens in the coop.:eek:

[Phreakmeister]

Originally posted by DustyBottoms
She was suicidal after seeing her husband having sex with all the other hens in the coop.:eek:

Was that chicken by any chance called Hillary?

[King Solomon]

What do you call a chicken coupe with four doors?

[DustyBottoms]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication.
In fact, we do not even have a chicken.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there may be potential for
this chicken's capability, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not.
The chicken is either for us or against us. There is
no middle ground.

TONY BLAIR I agree with George.


JOHN HOWARD
I agree with George and Tony.

PETER HOLLINGWORTH (Australian Governor-General)
I am not aware of any impropriety in the chicken
crossing the road. In fact I am led to believe that it
was the other way around and the chicken asked for it

DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough.

OPRAH
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but I'm not the only one.

MICHAEL JACKSON
There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed
with a chicken.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

ARSENE WENGER
What chicken? I did not see it.

ALEX FERGUSON
The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly,
and Beckham is not bigger than this club.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your cheque book - and internet explorer is an
integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the
chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken
didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n

VIRGUL KROWN
I remember being chicken once, but I can't remember if
I crossed the road or not.

[Phreakmeister]

CBS-TV's Andy Rooney: I could have said "Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...

President William Jefferson Clinton: That depends on your definition of the word "road".

COBOL Programmers: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

A Typical Politically Correct Person: Don't blame the chicken! Society is to blame. The chicken did cross the road, but he or she was merely a victim of this racist, bigoted, sexist society. We are all to blame, for failing to provide... [blah, blah, blah -- ad nauseam]

Rush Limbaugh: It was having more fun than a chicken should be allowed to have, listening to the Rush Limbaugh program on the EIB network and reveling in its righteousness!

Ross Perot: No, no, it's not about me, Larry. It's about the chicken.

Jean Chretien: OK, for me, de chicken, 'e crossed de road because 'is team was der, and because 'e 'ad de plan.

Pim Fortuyn: Because that chicken says what he feels and he does what he says

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Chico Marx: Why a duck? Why-a-no chicken?

Groucho Marx: You try to cross over there a chicken, and you'll find out why-a-no chicken. It's deep water, that's viaduct.

Macchiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Noam Chomsky: The chicken didn't exactly cross the road. As of 1994, something like 99.8% of all US chickens reaching maturity that year, had spent 82% of their lives in confinement. The living conditions in most chicken coops break every international law ever written, and some, particularly the ones for chickens bound for slaughter, border on inhumane. My point is, they had no chance to cross the road (unless you count the ride to the supermarket). Even if one or two have crossed roads for whatever reason, most never get a chance. Of course, this is not what we are told. Instead, we see chickens happily dancing around on Sesame Street and Foster Farms commercials where chickens are not only crossing roads, but driving trucks (incidentally, Foster Farms is owned by the same people who own the Foster Freeze chain, a subsidiary of the dairy industry). Anyway, ... (Chomsky continues for 32 pages. For the full text of his answer, contact Odonian Press)

Al Bundy: It was married... With children!

Marcy Jefferson: Why do you keep calling me a chicken?

Kelly Bundy: How do you spell chicken?

Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

Malcolm X: It was coming home to roost.

[King Solomon]

Originally posted by King Solomon
What do you call a chicken coupe with four doors?

A chicken SEDAN :rolleyes: :p

[aclu14]

This Chicken is a Big, Fat, Road-Crossing Idiot by Al Franken

[Serendipity]

Michael Moore: 71.3% of chickens over the age of 2 years and 6 months cross 29% more roads - wide roads - than 67.1% of chickens under the age of 1 year and 4 months. And that's a FACT.

Franz Kafka: As C started to cross the sun shone and many other birds sang in the trees. But C was soon aware that, the further he ventured across the road, the wider the road became, with bigger, faster traffic.

BASIC:
10 FOR Chicken=0 TO 20 STEP 2; Road=1
20 CROSS Chicken/Road
30 NEXT Chicken

[Phreakmeister]

Samuel Beckett: Chicken. Chicken. And then. Roads. And no more roads. And life. And darkness. All is gone. Death. Then death. Chickens. Chickens and death. And roads. Only roads.

[aclu14]

vBcode: cross road

[Phreakmeister]

Dr. John: because it was standin' at them crossroads!

Mick Jagger: to introduce myself.

Metallica: to exit light, enter night.

Jim Morrison: to break through to the other side.

Chris Cornell: to be alone in the SuperUnknown.

H.I.M.: to come and join me in death.

Kurt Cobain: come as you are, dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach... Chicken!