Phreakmeister
August 3rd, 2003, 03:31 PM
These are Dubya's latest contributions to the English language:
"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world - you know, people focus on the process and not results."
- Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace process
"It's important for [the UN's] words to mean what they say, and as we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, we really don't need anybody's permission."
- Bush, during a press conference on March 6th, 2003, well into the 21st century
"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."
George W. Bush on January 22nd, 2003
"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
George Bush on signing the 911 Commission Bill on November 27, 2002
"Corporate malfeance has had an effect on our economy and we need to do something about it."
"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."
"A free, peaceful Zimbabwe has got the capacity to deliver a lot of goods and services which are needed on this continent in order to help aleve suffering."
"We've had a great weekend here in the land of the enchanted."
- Bush, referring to New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment.
"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."
"The proposal we've proposed (sic!) will save him nearly $2,400 every year."
- Bush speaking to the Tax Relief Coalition and the US Chamber of Commerce,"
"Maybe between the time I left Camp David and here I'll learn more."
"What is life choices about?"
- Bush, speaking to student athletes
"The more money they have in their more pockets — in their pockets, the more likely it is that somebody will find work."
"And out of the evil done to America is going to come a more peaceful world, and a more better America..."
"Some communities, you say, "Hey, American dream," and they go, "What does that mean?"
"What is your ambitions?"
- Bush, speaking at the Parkview Arts and Science Magnet School
"When one of us suffer, all of us suffers."
- Bush, addressing the Pennsylvania coal miners
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
- Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much.
"I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries."
- Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf
"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in doing so we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."
- Bush, on regime change in the United States?
"It will take time to restore chaos and order—but we—order out of chaos."
- Bush, speaking to reporters about the situation in Iraq
"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
—Bush, introducing Alma Powell, not Colin Powell's secretary, but Colin Powell's wife. Or did Bush just reveal an embarrassing secret?
"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself."
"The Iraqi regime is a threat to any American and to threats who are friends of America."
- So Saddam is a threat to threats who are friends of the US?
"They see the risks are high, the risk of being able to find a job or the risk of keeping the homeland secure."
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose [to Saddam], 'You disarm, or we will'."
- I wonder which one Saddam would have chosen...
"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."
"And when we find children trapped in schools which will not teach and will not change, as a society we must demand something better, because there is no second-rate children in America."
"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country."
"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical - medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it."
"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question - and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter] It was a good drive."
- Bush, interrupting an August 10th golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q&A discussing possible US military action against Iraq.
"Do you have blacks, too?"
- Bush, speaking to then Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
"I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past."
- Bush, commenting on the significance of slavery in America's past. So slaves came to America because of their belief in freedom?
"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it."
- Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa
"Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side - is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy."
Did anyone understand that sentence?
"And if one of those jobs are created, we must have a system which trains people for the jobs which actually exist."
"And as I said in my State of the Union, the idea is to see that a car born today - I mean, a child born today will be driving a car, as his or her first car, which will be powered by hydrogen and pollution-free."
"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles."
"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen."
"Sometimes Washington is one of these towns where the people who think they've got the sharp elbows are the most effective person."
"I want the youngsters here to remember the story of Flight 93, one of most profound parts of this entire history of the recent history we've been through."
"This is a - this is a - any strike's a tough - tough situation, but this one happens to come at a - or a lockout is a tough situation, or no work is a tough situation - is to come at bad time."
Holy crap, this is like reading Samuel Beckett
"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."
"We're going to have a White House forum there in Washington, D.C., obviously - that's where the White House is ..."
"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my - not should have - I just."
That clarifies it...
"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world - you know, people focus on the process and not results."
- Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace process
"It's important for [the UN's] words to mean what they say, and as we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, we really don't need anybody's permission."
- Bush, during a press conference on March 6th, 2003, well into the 21st century
"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."
George W. Bush on January 22nd, 2003
"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
George Bush on signing the 911 Commission Bill on November 27, 2002
"Corporate malfeance has had an effect on our economy and we need to do something about it."
"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."
"A free, peaceful Zimbabwe has got the capacity to deliver a lot of goods and services which are needed on this continent in order to help aleve suffering."
"We've had a great weekend here in the land of the enchanted."
- Bush, referring to New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment.
"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."
"The proposal we've proposed (sic!) will save him nearly $2,400 every year."
- Bush speaking to the Tax Relief Coalition and the US Chamber of Commerce,"
"Maybe between the time I left Camp David and here I'll learn more."
"What is life choices about?"
- Bush, speaking to student athletes
"The more money they have in their more pockets — in their pockets, the more likely it is that somebody will find work."
"And out of the evil done to America is going to come a more peaceful world, and a more better America..."
"Some communities, you say, "Hey, American dream," and they go, "What does that mean?"
"What is your ambitions?"
- Bush, speaking at the Parkview Arts and Science Magnet School
"When one of us suffer, all of us suffers."
- Bush, addressing the Pennsylvania coal miners
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
- Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much.
"I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries."
- Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf
"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in doing so we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."
- Bush, on regime change in the United States?
"It will take time to restore chaos and order—but we—order out of chaos."
- Bush, speaking to reporters about the situation in Iraq
"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
—Bush, introducing Alma Powell, not Colin Powell's secretary, but Colin Powell's wife. Or did Bush just reveal an embarrassing secret?
"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself."
"The Iraqi regime is a threat to any American and to threats who are friends of America."
- So Saddam is a threat to threats who are friends of the US?
"They see the risks are high, the risk of being able to find a job or the risk of keeping the homeland secure."
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose [to Saddam], 'You disarm, or we will'."
- I wonder which one Saddam would have chosen...
"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."
"And when we find children trapped in schools which will not teach and will not change, as a society we must demand something better, because there is no second-rate children in America."
"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country."
"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical - medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it."
"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question - and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter] It was a good drive."
- Bush, interrupting an August 10th golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q&A discussing possible US military action against Iraq.
"Do you have blacks, too?"
- Bush, speaking to then Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
"I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past."
- Bush, commenting on the significance of slavery in America's past. So slaves came to America because of their belief in freedom?
"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it."
- Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa
"Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side - is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy."
Did anyone understand that sentence?
"And if one of those jobs are created, we must have a system which trains people for the jobs which actually exist."
"And as I said in my State of the Union, the idea is to see that a car born today - I mean, a child born today will be driving a car, as his or her first car, which will be powered by hydrogen and pollution-free."
"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles."
"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen."
"Sometimes Washington is one of these towns where the people who think they've got the sharp elbows are the most effective person."
"I want the youngsters here to remember the story of Flight 93, one of most profound parts of this entire history of the recent history we've been through."
"This is a - this is a - any strike's a tough - tough situation, but this one happens to come at a - or a lockout is a tough situation, or no work is a tough situation - is to come at bad time."
Holy crap, this is like reading Samuel Beckett
"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."
"We're going to have a White House forum there in Washington, D.C., obviously - that's where the White House is ..."
"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my - not should have - I just."
That clarifies it...