BEST NEW LAW SYSTEM EVER

These Laws are inspired by the highly controversial logic of Himmaurabi, and they make sense to me, what about you?

**Law 1** If you steal, it will be very hard next time as you will HAVE NO HAND.

**Law 2** If you are engaged in malicious lying, conspiracy, or deception and have concrete evidence against you, a permanent tattoo describing the letters "L-I-A-R" will be printed across your forehead

**Law 3** If you kill, you will be killed in the same way by the members of the national guard.

**Law 4** Rape=Castration. There must be infallable evidence against this, however. No one wants to lose their man milk.

**Law 5** STUPIDITY IS A CRIME. If someone can form a petition of 100 people saying you are a fuking moron then a competent psychologist quickly analyzes you and throws your dumb ass in jail where you have all the time to learn in the world.

**Law 6** THE LAW AGAINST !%!%!%!%!%!%!%S. If there's a petition of 100 people that say you're one hell of a jerk you get stamped in big bold letters right on your jerk forehead saying "!%!%!%!%!%!%!%". This is the law everyone has been waiting for.

*Note that any misinformation for the petition laws violates law #2

**Law 7** SELF-DEFENSE. Anyone can defend themselves. Guns, knives, spoon or femur. Large guns have a colossal tax so it would be very hard to bazooka someone. If so, however, it won't happen a lot because the murderer then get's blown to the ashes that victim's families can piss in or whatever. Believe it or not, self-preservation is 99% factor what a criminal thinks about. This right is a right ensuring defense of not only eachother, but the regulating government existing. This right shall never fall to distortion in any way, ever. Period.

**Law 8** DRUG LAWS. All drugs are legalized. This eliminates any 'rebel' image created by going against the law for drugs. Now if you do it you're just a moron who likes to waste money for what could be bakingsoda.

**Law 9** MALPRACTICE. If you cause dangerous error in any of your works you are automatically fined 200% of what money resulted from that work and work day. Concrete evidence must be supplied.

**Law 9** PRIVACY. Your privacy shall NEVER be infringed unless by just cause situations and/or warrant productions. This law cannot be modified in any way, ever.

**Law 10** TAXES. No taxes supporting any disfunctional child. Children are a choice. Abortion as such cannot be illegalized. Taxes shall never discriminate by age, sex, or social/family status, except for retiring. More interestingly, THERE IS NO, AND THERE NEVER WILL BE AN INCOME TAX. If you make money, no penalty will ever become of this. We must fight loopholes of the law, not hardworking citizens. SALES TAX(increased heavily)WILL REPLACE INCOME TAX, so if you are one of those morons who just *needs* a sparkly cell phone, our government gets 5 bucks from your dumb ass. This encourages THINKING before you buy, and a high competition for LOWER costs and GREATER QUALITY of every single american item. This also eliminates a considerable chunk of the IRS, and that's what we all want. Also, 30% taxes go into the army, 20% into police, 30% into school and 20% other. Welfare only helps based on income, not how many barrels kids you absolutely had to have. People need to understand that survival is their fault, not ours.

**What this Means** It means thinking smart, less jails(look how many rules issue jailing), and no more punishing the honest hard worker. Plain and simple.

Tell me what you think!

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When I die I will be in my coffin flipped over so you can -=all kiss my ass=---But the angels can fly because they take themselves lightly-

[aclu14]

Welcome, DJ!



**Law 3** If you kill, you will be killed in the same way by the members of the national guard.
What an ingenious law! Deej, see my post called "Death Penalty"


**Law 6** THE LAW AGAINST !%!%!%!%!%!%!%S. If there's a petition of 100 people that say you're one hell of a jerk you get stamped in big bold letters right on your jerk forehead saying "!%!%!%!%!%!%!%". This is the law everyone has been waiting for.

The law that everyone has been waiting for, tell me about it! I can think of at least twenty people that would have the word !%!%!%!%!%!%!% permanently inscribed on their heads!



**Law 8** DRUG LAWS. All drugs are legalized. This eliminates any 'rebel' image created by going against the law for drugs. Now if you do it you're just a moron who likes to waste money for what could be bakingsoda.

Disagree with the make all drugs legalized part, agree with the moron part. I think it's baking powder, not baking soda.

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I'll think of a better sig when I feel like it! Now stop bothering me! :D

[DV8]

Originally posted by Dj Maxim:

**Law 1** If you steal, it will be very hard next time as you will HAVE NO HAND.



I have a friend who lives in a country that believes(used to believe) that law. They used to execute this law in a place which they called the 'Chop Chop Square'.

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I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
We've already hunted the grey whale into extinction twice. - Andrea Arnold (1990)

[DV8]

I agree w/ Law 3. But the prob is there is never a fair way of judging whether it was a murder or accident. I would hate to be sent to a Death Penalty whilst knowing I was innocent. But I would go for this law if the judge was sure it was a murder done by Tom DIck n Harry and have concrete proof of it.

Law 4: Direct way to sending a msg.
Law 5: I could kinda understand why...
Law 6: What's the point?

Nice http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/smile.gif

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Co-Owner
Bueno Technologies

[Idnew]

Good laws. They do have that law in China or used to have it if you steal...I think the first time you lose a finger and then if you do it again another and so on until they cut off your hand. Guess that saves them a lot of money in the long run. At least they don't have to lock them up and feed them. I think if I started losing fingers I'd stop and think about it.

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Hey thanks guys I would like to gives props to everyone who likes my laws and give a special holla to my buddy Jeff. I hate these laws we got that take away my money just because I work and these poor stupid morons set themselves up for disaster so I gotta pay some thievin liar welfare.
Nobody commented on my new taxes system tho whatsup with you guys.
And nobody kissed up to me for being new or anything so I thought that was cool. Peace. Your Dj, Dj Maxim

[ogb]

Sorry, DJ. Law no. 1 to 10 are ****.

[Lis]

*hmmmms* Law 10- so we can't descriminate by sex or age but we can by income....seems kinda hypocritical to me....careful, I may start a petition! http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/wink.gif

[ogb]

Okay, after giving a profound comment, I am going into detail know:

Law1: well, my brother just gave a job to a 14-year old girl to take care for his little son. After she came several times, some things were vanished. My sister-in-law called the babysitter and the girl admitted to have stolen these things. Later on we got to know that she stole several times already and is in psychological treatment because of that. Would it make sense to cut her hand? She's got a hard life anyhow as she will never keep a job for a longer time, if she doesn't get cured. Also think that human rights organisations would oppose (against law2 and 4 as well).

Law3: good way to wipe out the humanity. A second national guard member has to kill his colleague who did the execution; and so on…

Law5, 6: no, very bad. You always have to kiss lots of asses to be popular. I am usually not taking the easy way. People who tend to say the truth (especially in political matters) are not exactly popular – the others don't solve problems. Especially 100 people are very easy to find – although usually you'll never find 100 people who know all essential details to judge on someone.

Law7: you already got the right to defend yourself if you are attacked, but luckily only in reasonable extension. The gun thing is in another topic…

Law8: if you allow murder, then murderers also lose their bad image… Everybody says that the Netherlands also allowed certain drugs, but they always forget to talk about the negative consequences. The number of fatal accidents in the traffic dramatically increased and the percentage of drugs as a cause is extremely high. Lots of crimes go hand in hand with drugs. Even if legalised, drugs stay expensive, but they also still make addicted – the number of addicted people increases and they need money. Guess we are returning to your law1 at this point.

Law9 (1): why 200%? Why are 100% (as it is law now, at least in Germany) not enough? What's the sense of it?

Law 10: income tax is much more justified than any sales tax. Our present government cut some money of the income tax, but added lots of sales taxes. The ones you hit with this stupid taxes are the ones without money: pupils, students, retired people. Surely the government isn't always right with spending the money (although I'd heavily protest against your way of spending it), but this can't be changed by the kinds of taxes. I really don't know what you are complaining about, the USA is having quite low taxes in international comparison – and the social system is far below average standard of industrial nations.

[Serendipity]

Law #10: What does "No taxes supporting any disfunctional [sic] child" mean? What - by the definition of the law - is a disfunctional child?

OGB is quite right, the "no income tax/plenty of sales tax" rule will hit the poor hardest - or how much are they supposed to save? Seems like they'll be taxed for about 100% of their income. Those who can afford to save will be better off - and they're already better off.

Nope, I don't like any of these laws.

Re-reply to Law Uno: 14 years old, you're **** straight she should be thinking seriously about theft. Law 1 would make this a reality. If a 14 year old girl can't think, "Hmmm, which one is more important? My employer's vase or MY ****ING HAND?" and make the right decision then she brings it on herself. Why should your bro have to pay because she's got a hard life? Maybe if she didn't steal she would be able to keep a job and maybe her life wouldn't be so hard!

Re-reply to Law #3: Murder isn't the same as government law-enforcement. C'mon, I appreciate everyone's feedback, but don't get ****y on my laws.

Re-reply to Laws #5 and #6: Lying shouldn't be way of life. Your twisted sense of survival through this exactly portrays the degredation in human society that my laws attack. Say two political guys(or girls) are facing off and one is saying what should be heard, and one is saying what we want to be heard. We wouldn't give the first guy a second thought. But imagine the second person with a big red LIAR stamp on his forehead. The people then really start to think. Once again my laws represent a strong force backing logical thought for societal advancement. And for the 100 people thing, you didn't read my note buddy.

Re-reply to Law 8:Once again, you get into hard drugs, you get addicted, you can't get off addiction, you die. This really puts the win in Darwin.

Re-reply to Law#9(1):200% cause there needs to be a good punishment for them to care.

Final re-reply to Law Diez:By completely eliminating income tax and putting it most on sales tax, we eliminate a very large chunk of the IRS, which eliminates a good amount of government employing money. When combined with the colossal amount of cash saved from 90%(if not more) absence of jails, sales tax can still be sustained to a very low rate considering the circumstances. This would only hit the poor hard if they are very stupid about things. For example, if for some god-awful reason, they got no hands. Or, they are crack addicts. Or, they have no ****ing sense on how versatile duct-tape is, or whatever. You also mentioned poor students. How much money does a student need? I am pretty freakin young, and I haven't spent more than 10 bucks in the last 2 months. Also, government spending has no correlation with taxes, I was just layin down the law.Peace, I'm out.

Your Dj,
Dj Maxim

[ogb]

@1: you seem to have lots of background of criminology, so probably it's the best to make you create the laws. This girl stole just things for the sake of stealing. It included half empty deodorants for men, where my brother was really glad that they were away (but unfortunately she brought them back http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/wink.gif). In certain situations she doesn't have herself under control and just steals things which don't even have any use for her. It's completely a psychological thing - if she was able to think about it in those situations, she wouldn't steal.

@3: I am not going to reply on that topic, would only cause tons of quarrels, we had that before. Look at older topics and you'll find some opinions.

@5,6: nice thought, but who tells you in political matters about who is right and who is wrong? Right and wrong often doesn't exist, just a better and worse. At the end you only have opinions and nothing is a 100% solution, so these law fails.

@9: I think that repaying 100% is often more than the people can afford. Nobody is free of mistakes and so aren't you, that's why I still believe that 200% makes no sense.

@10: maybe I could agree on a certain point, if you were talking about Germany. Our state budget suffers that we have to pay about 40 billion dollar for unemployed people (and we're just having 1/3 of the US population) - and the unemployment money is that high that lots don't even want work. But come on, this is totally different in the USA.
How much a student needs in a month? I am getting about $500 and completely need it for rent, food, car, study and living. Of course it would be different if living with mommy, but I don't think that it would be a big help to have a generation of sissies who can't get anything done without help froom home.

[Lis]

I believe that Dj is not refering to uni (sorry Dippy, university http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/tongue.gif ) or older students but high school students ect.....I come to this conclusion because unless you are living under a bridge somwhere on a scholarship and most likely stealing (which would mean losing your hands) theres no way in hell you have spent less than $10 in the past two months....this being said...let me confirm what OGB claimed....that I too am a working student (high school) and I live on my own and I barely get by on $350 a week....includes car, rent, food and PLENTY of extra's!

How much money does a student need? A ****-load more than $10 every 2 months.

[aclu14]

I make about $140 a month

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I'll think of a better sig when I feel like it! Now stop bothering me! :D

[Serendipity]

Final re-reply to Law Diez:By completely eliminating income tax and putting it most on sales tax, we eliminate a very large chunk of the IRS, which eliminates a good amount of government employing money.

Final re-reply? You'll be lucky! So, who is going to administer the new sales tax? Considering that there are more sales made than wage-packets paid, I'd guess that this sales tax would take a hell of a lot more effort to implement effectively.

When combined with the colossal amount of cash saved from 90%(if not more) absence of jails, sales tax can still be sustained to a very low rate considering the circumstances.

What circumstances? So, there are fewer people in jail because of the abolition of drugs laws and replacement penalties (castration and dismemberment)? Castration for rapists is one thing, I'm not rabidly against it nor fanatically for it. But once you've chopped off someone's hand for theft, how is that onehanded person going to work afterwards? (Don't tell me, "He should have thought of that at the time...") Either you're creating a class of outcasts or claiming some kind of élitist stance (are these synonymous? Not quite but ho hum). Policing will become more expensive.

Maxim, no offence my friend, but your youth has not yet been tempered by compassion. You need more experience before you are qualified to draw up radical legal and social reforms http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Lis]

*nods* at least another year and a half http://www.dumblaws.com/ubb/wink.gif

[Idnew]

I am pretty freakin young, and I haven't spent more than 10 bucks in the last 2 months Now, now could be true. He's either a hermit or somebody else is footing the bills for him.

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[CBranski]

Indeed some of these laws make sense, but others are ill advised. For example, many a theif has become a productive member of society after he decided to stop stealing. (Though I certainly would agree with making incarceration far less comfortable than it is now. Dismemberment is a wee bit too inhumane.) Though I am as sick to death of slackers and whiners as anyone else, some forms of social assistance are necessary to help those who are less fortunate-compassion's got to ride shotgun with tough love at times.

Hate to gang up on the guy who says he spent less than $10 per month as a student, I have to wonder just how he's living: I bring home about $340 US per week and find it diffcult to meet the expenses of rent, fuel, food, medical insurance, auto maintenance, etc. Indeed students have a loot of expenses!

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Tony Soprano for Sherriff!

[Enforcer]

way 2 go with law about drugs

by the way, cool signature