Why did the chicken cross the road?...

[sinecure]

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050509/ap_on_fe_st/chicken_ticketed

Chicken Ticketed for Crossing the Road

1 hour, 44 minutes ago

Linc and Helena Moore may have finally learned the answer to that age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken doesn't know jaywalking is illegal.

Kern County Sheriff's Deputy J. Nicholson does know, however. The deputy issued a ticket March 26 because one of the couple's chickens allegedly impeded traffic in Johannesburg, a rural mining community near Ridgecrest, some 220 miles northeast of Los Angeles.

The Moores were in Superior Court on Friday to plead not guilty. A trial was scheduled for May 16.

Nicholson has declined to discuss the matter, but sheriff's Sgt. Francis Moore said chickens on the roadway have been a problem in the community of 50 residents. Officials didn't believe it could be resolved by simply issuing the couple a warning.

"Sometimes you have to let people talk to the judge," Moore said.

The chicken's owners say they believe they were cited because they were among several people who complained that sheriff's deputies haven't done enough to control off-road vehicle riders who create dust and noise in their neighborhood.

Sheriff's officials say that isn't so, adding they are doing what they can to keep off-roaders away from homes.

"The chicken thing has nothing to do with the motorcycle thing," Moore said.
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I've been to Johannesburg... and there's NOT a lot to do there!!:question :wink

Still....:eek :confused

[RosieWolf]

gee how much traffic can there be in a little mining town??.. must be the offroaders that were complaining cuz the chicken was in their way.. laffin.. surprised they didn't try to run over it.. would be more their style.. chickens don't really like to sit on a road, unless its a dirt road, then they'd be out there taking dust baths and such.. yep, that mite be a traffic problem.. but if it is a dirt road.. then again.. how much traffic can it really have??

[Idnew]

Their desperate for money. :lol

[sinecure]

One of my officer friends said he'd heard the term "chickensh1t ticket" thousands of times, but this was the first time it actually made sense... :think :lol

[metalripper666]

*imitation of the officer*

garsh! i really does hope the sarge gives me that there pro-mo-tion!

[sinecure]

In the early 1960's I was driving home on leave from Beale AFB, north of Sacramento, CA. Tired of the boring scenery on highway 99 (Interstate 5 wasn't finished then), I decided to take some "roads less traveled" and see some different country. It was a warm summer day, and I had all the windows down on my 1959 Ford hardtop coupe [wish I still had that car...], just driving slow and enjoying the sights and smells of the wide-open country. The magic of a two-lane blacktop road in the country.

Shortly, I heard an odd, rapid, rhythmic noise... sort of a "scritch-scritch-scritch" coming from outside. Thinking that there was something wrong with the car, I leaned my head outside the window to hear better. "Scritch-scritch-scritch" Yep, I was definitely hearing an odd sound coming from the front of the car.

Just as I was about to pull my head back into the car, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a movement alongside the car. Looking down I saw a chicken running along side the front wheel.... and even though they were all a blur, I could tell that this chicken had THREE LEGS!

Well, I was doing about 35 mph, and the chicken didn't seem to be having any difficulty keeping up, so I gradually accelerated... 40, 45, 50, ... The "scritch-scritch-scritch" increased in tempo, but the chicken, its neck stretched out fully, with eyes blinking in the wind, and with all three feet just a frantic blur... still kept up with the front wheel of my car!

I thought, "OK, let's see what this bird can really do!" and floored the accelerator. The chicken obviously saw that it was now an all-out race, and zoomed on ahead of my car like I was parked, becoming just a dot on the road ahead!! Astounded, I watched as it kicked up a cloud of dust making a full-speed 90º turn next to a rural mailbox, and ran out of my sight. I got to the mailbox moments later and saw a dirt driveway leading into the hills. On an impulse, I turned past the mailbox and onto the dirt road.

After about a mile or so, the road dead-ended at a big old weathered farmhouse. An old man was sitting on the porch, staring off into space. I stopped and, after checking for banyard dogs, got out. Not knowing the local protocol, I decided to be blunt-- "I just followed a three legged chicken up your road here, and it was the fastest thing I've ever seen run...anywhere." The old man looked at me like I was simple-minded or something and said, "Yep, we grow those chickens. Got lots of 'em around here."

I was astounded. "No kidding? But why three legged chickens?"

Like he was speaking to a dull child he replied, "Well, you see, I like drumsticks, and the Missus, SHE likes drumsticks, and my boy Emmitt, HE likes drumsticks, too. We used to fight all the time at the dinner table. So I figgered if'n we was to raise a three-legged chicken, we could each have a drumstick."

Still amazed, but recalling how fast the chicken could run and wondering just how tough those drumsticks were, I asked, "Well, yessir, that's really something.... by the way, how do those chickens taste?"

With a delivery that he would've used in talking to a not-quite-bright cousin, the farmer slowly said, "Don't know....ain't never caught one yet."


:question :wink

[RosieWolf]

hahahahha.. ur hilarious sin.. giggle.. i'll have to try and breed me some of them 3legged chickens.. i love the thighs myself.. grin.. hmm.. wonder if we can create some 2 breasted hens for them that likes white meat.. evilgrin

[Idnew]

Sin I am really really beginning to wonder about you:wink create some 2 breasted hens for them that likes white meat that would be me and I do like white meat:wink better than dark meat

[sinecure]

Originally posted by RosieWolf
.. hmm.. wonder if we can create some 2 breasted hens for them that likes white meat.. evilgrin

A couple of years back I tried to broker a deal with Tyson Foods and the folks who marketed the WonderBra™.

The idea was to develop a chicken breast that LOOKED a lot bigger than it actually WAS... I figured I'd pitch it to Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and anybody else who was in the business of providing prepared foods to dieting Americans. Somehow the deal fell through... simple lack of support, I guess...

I also tried to cross a chicken with an ostrich... with an idea of getting massively LARGE drumsticks... I never was able to get a hen chicken to lay an ostrich-sized egg more than once. One experience like that and they all became lesbian hens. Started calling themselves by gender-ambivalent names like "Bobbi, Kim, Jerri, Sam" etc. They all got tattoos, wore flannel shirts, jeans and penny loafers. None of 'em would even LOOK at a rooster after that, too...

...Then there was the ill-fated attempt to cross a chicken with a centipede, with an idea of getting MORE drumsticks. Something went terribly wrong, however, 'cause all I ended up with was a big feathered bug with a pecker on it's face...

Time for my medication... :wink :wave

[Idnew]

RIDGECREST, Calif. - A chicken that got a ticket for crossing the road has clawed his way out of it. The $54 citation for impeding traffic was dismissed Friday after Linc and Helena Moore's attorney argued that the fowl was domesticated and could not be charged as livestock.


State law restricts livestock on highways, but not domestic animals.

The chicken was ticketed March 26 for impeding traffic after it wandered onto a road in Johannesburg, a rural mining community southeast of Ridgecrest.

The Moores said they got the ticket because they were among several people who complained that deputies have done little to curb noisy off-road vehicle riders.

"For the last two and a half years, no one has been able to stop the kids riding their bikes in the middle of the road or the neighbors' dogs running around our neighborhood," Linc Moore said. "But when our chicken escaped and crossed the road once it became a huge issue."

Sheriff's officials said the ticket had nothing to do with the Moores' complaints.