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View Full Version : A few things you might learn from an old geezer...


sinecure
October 30th, 2005, 09:24 PM
Since I seem to have been in an instructive mood of late, let me offer these tidbits... some learned fro observation, others from personal experiece :whistle :

Things you may not know

1. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere.

2. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

3. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

4. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep.

5. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard.

6. How can you make your wife really mad while making love? Call her from your cell phone.

7. What does the bride of a Polish man get that's long and hard on her wedding night? His last name. [alternate: a bushel of rutabagas.]

8. What's the down side to a threesome? You'll likely disappoint two women instead of just one.

9. How do you know you're really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg.

10. Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car.

11. What's the similarity between a Floriduh hurricane and an Alabama divorce? Somebody's gonna' lose a trailer...

http://www.kurts-smilies.de/grinser.gif

Idnew
November 4th, 2005, 10:05 AM
:laugh

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors'
special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.


"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?"
My wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home...

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!