To Spank or not to Spank

[~wildangel~]

To Spank or not to Spank?

That is the question.

[DustyBottoms]

Only if she is in the right mood and properly treated afterwords.

:lol

[~wildangel~]

I meant kids!:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

[Idnew]

Spanking always worked for me on children that is.

[DustyBottoms]

I meant kids!:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

I knew that... just joshin' :rofl

Spanking worked on me. I also spanked my three boys if they really needed it. Funny thing is... Once they found out I would really do it, they hardly ever needed it.

[~wildangel~]

Dusty, lol

So what did you guys use? How long? I have gotten after my boys with the spoon before but only one whack or so and so rarely, i'm wondering because my boys can get out of control now, the older ones at 9 and 10 and sometimes i'm going crazy...i feel like spanking is mean in a way, they hardly ever get spanked and i was wondering if you guys spank or spanked or if you were spanked and if this works.

Jesse is a spanker but he yells more than spanks, which seems to be more stressful.

I just don't know if spanking will make the kids hate me, but i'm tired of yelling...lol

[Idnew]

Yelling is worse and when they learn that is all you are going to do they get worse. I took in my demon nephews and immature sister once. When time outs didn't work, talking didn't work I told my husband to go cut me some peach switches. He cut me 6 in different sizes. That worked and when their mother was trying to be their best friend instead of their mother I threatened to whip her too in front of her children. Awwww what peace there was when I finally popped both of the boys and you could almost like them after that. They learned to say yes maam after that. It was horror before that. Children need to know who is the boss or else they are going to walk all over you and trust me they will respect you and love you for it even if they say they hate you at the time.

[~wildangel~]

Awwww what peace there was when I finally popped both of the boys and you could almost like them after that.

LOL good point! My boys drive me crazy most of the time...they talk back, omg it's horrid..

[Idnew]

LOL good point! My boys drive me crazy most of the time...they talk back, omg it's horrid I back talked my mother "once". The dining room wall and the side of my face were never the same after she tried to slap me through it..........but I never backed talked her again.........well after I got to be an adult I did. We had some good fights, but I loved her till she died and would and did fight for her against others.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child" is still good advice

[GreenEyedLady]

I back talked my mother "once". The dining room wall and the side of my face were never the same after she tried to slap me through it..........but I never backed talked her again.........well after I got to be an adult I did. We had some good fights, but I loved her till she died and would and did fight for her against others.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child" is still good advice

:lol I did that once to my mother, too. And, got the same kind of treatment. It wasn't fun, but I did learn my lesson. Unfortunately, she died when I was 13, so I never got to have that kind of relationship with her. I'm glad you did with your mom.

[afieldofdaisies]

Sparing the rod doesnt necissarily mean spoiling the child. Spoiling the child means giving in to all their demands and giving them everything they want. And you dont have to hit a child to not do that.
But yelling and empty threats are pointless, if you are going to make threats/sanctions then you have to be prepared to carry them out or they just learn that they can get away with things most times because you probably won't do anything. But I dont believe in hitting children.

[~wildangel~]

We grounded them this time around! It's a pain grounding them (this is what we usually do) because they want out of their rooms all the time, and it's more frustrating on us because they keep crying and whining to come out of their rooms! So this grounding that we're doing sucks...but it DOES help, because they hate being grounded...

They are grounded for acting like idiots in home depot, running around mad, hitting eachother, spinning on the bar chairs, you name it, they did it in Home Depot! Jesse was like "i'm gonna beat your @ss" but they don't care they actually laughed at him! So he grounded them, then they started bawling! lol

UGHHHH kids are so hard to deal with, i have all boys too

[sinecure]

UGHHHH kids are so hard to deal with, i have all boys too

Pepper spray....



:whistle :lol

[~wildangel~]

I don't have any of that! BUT i have a 700,000 volt tazer???:whistle

[Idnew]

Spanking them right in the store in front of everybody usually works very well.

Sure they laughed at him when he said it because they knew he wasn't going to do it. Don't say something and then not do it. He should have beat their a$$ right in the store.

[~wildangel~]

He wanted to, i saw the veins in his neck nearly explode!:lol We can't hear, it's against the law to even spank your child, it's so dumb! Someone would call CPS or whatever, blah blah, so many dumbasses here that think it's abuse. Stupid liberal state:zip

[Idnew]

It's not exactly against the law here but you do have the goody goodys that would probably call the law but my g-daughter was really showing her butt in Walmart and my daughter warned her to stop it or she would spank her right then and there. She kept on and my daughter tore her up right there and then and dared anybody to call the law. The customers just smiled and my g-daughter behaved and when she was crying we told her to cry louder so everybody in the store could hear her. She shut up then. My daughter I only had to spank once and to this day she will talk about that. Usually but not always once you spank them really good then after that a threat to spank usually works, because then they don't know if you will or not so it's best for them to not take a chance that you will.

[~wildangel~]

So funny! One time i was in line at the store with the boys, and this day i was in a hell of a mood. Well i didn't even mean to say it so loud but i said "Austen you better knock it off or i'm gonna beat your ass right here and now!" and to my surpise everyone in line had heard and i was worried, and then one older lady spoke up and said "that's how all mothers should be!" and to my surprise everyone in line was smiling at me like they all agreed!:rofl

I still try not to though incase some of those goody goody's are around to call the police or something

[Idnew]

I think that most people would rather see you tear them up then have to put up with un-ruly kids in a store. That irratates the heck out of me to see children running wild in a store.

[~wildangel~]

Yeah, i never thought of it that way, you're probably right! Jesse is reading this, he says he should have tore into them at home depot:rofl

[Idnew]

Yeah, i never thought of it that way, you're probably right! Jesse is reading this, he says he should have tore into them at home depot You betcha so do it next time

[~wildangel~]

Sounds like a PLAN, i am tired of arguing with them, they just talk back and obviously it's not working! lol

[Ateo]

Nope, I don't think spanking is a good idea. 1) it's an aggressive act, 2) it legitimizes child abuse in many parents' eyes and 3) while some kids can deal with it, it can turn others into cruel, resentful b@stards when they grow up (not me btw, I wasn't spanked).

[Idnew]

Nope, I don't think spanking is a good idea. 1) it's an aggressive act, 2) it legitimizes child abuse in many parents' eyes and 3) while some kids can deal with it, it can turn others into cruel, resentful b@stards when they grow up (not me btw, I wasn't spanked).
__________________
You don't have children either do you?

[aclu14]

I worked for an after-school care program last year watching 5 through 10 year olds. Some of them, it was obvious that their parents were indulgers and their kids were spoiled rotten BRATS who NEEDED a good backhand to the skull. >:0

[Ateo]

You don't have children either do you?Nope, thank god. So what? I have eyes. I've lived around kids. I've lived around people who hit their kids.

Yeah, there are some little brats that a require a firm hand (figuratively), an intimidating adult presence, but using spanking as a rule, or as a substitute for actual parenting, is retarded. And retarded parents shouldn't be encouraged in their retardedness.I worked for an after-school care program last year watching 5 through 10 year olds. Some of them, it was obvious that their parents were indulgers and their kids were spoiled rotten BRATS who NEEDED a good backhand to the skull.Sounds like they need SUPERNANNY!

[MJ_junkie86]

i dont think spankin is a good idea.
it is child abuse.
il give u two examples of what happened to me by my step dad.
one, me and my brother were 9 and 10. we had to help him put up a wardrobe. he expected us hold a heavy bit of wood above our heads for ages while he %%%%ed about gettin his tools ready, then coz the wood moved when he was finally ready to use it, he beat us both. then he "made up for it" by buyin us pizza.
second, i was 15, and he decided to look through my mobile phone, and one of my friends, who was a boy, had sent me a text with a swear word in it, as u do when ur 15.
so then for every boys name in my phone address book, he hit each of my hands with a wooden spoon. twice on each hand. and i mean hit it with force, he didnt jus tap it. i remember havin to beg him to believe me my friend sam really was a girl.
by the time he had finished my hands were so swollen up i couldnt close them even into a half fist.

so try and tell me being able to smack your kids is a good thing. some people ahv no control over their anger, they get angry at nothin and they think it is their right to do what they want.

MJ

[~wildangel~]

Yeah, there are some little brats that a require a firm hand (figuratively), an intimidating adult presence, but using spanking as a rule, or as a substitute for actual parenting, is retarded. And retarded parents shouldn't be encouraged in their retardedness.

Well not as a rule, i would never do that. I usually can just talk to my kids, i still haven't even spanked them and they haven't needed it but when they act up really bad (which isn't that often) i thik a firm hand should do the job like Id said...they are boys so they can really act up when they do.

I don't think spanking is child abuse unless you spank all the time, then i think that is bad...it should be rare and used as needed when they are being really really bad

[Idnew]

i dont think spankin is a good idea.
it is child abuse.
il give u two examples of what happened to me by my step dad. Talk to me when you have children also MJ until then if you don't have children you don't know what you're talking about. As for as the abusive step-father----mine had yours beat by 5 miles. My real father only spanked me once, after that he just had to say do or don't do something one time and I did it.

Usually unless they are really horrible children. Spanking as an everyday thing isn't necessary.

[Kuolema Nox]

I'm fine with spanking very young children (like under fives, because after about that, you can explain to them why what they have done is wrong and they can understand) but a spank to me means a light tap on the wrist and saying "NO" or something along those lines to them. I'm not advocating beating kids by any means.

[Ateo]

i dont think spankin is a good idea.
it is child abuse.
il give u two examples of what happened to me by my step dad.
one, me and my brother were 9 and 10. we had to help him put up a wardrobe. he expected us hold a heavy bit of wood above our heads for ages while he %%%%ed about gettin his tools ready, then coz the wood moved when he was finally ready to use it, he beat us both. then he "made up for it" by buyin us pizza.
second, i was 15, and he decided to look through my mobile phone, and one of my friends, who was a boy, had sent me a text with a swear word in it, as u do when ur 15.
so then for every boys name in my phone address book, he hit each of my hands with a wooden spoon. twice on each hand. and i mean hit it with force, he didnt jus tap it. i remember havin to beg him to believe me my friend sam really was a girl.
by the time he had finished my hands were so swollen up i couldnt close them even into a half fist.

so try and tell me being able to smack your kids is a good thing. some people ahv no control over their anger, they get angry at nothin and they think it is their right to do what they want.

MJI'm sorry you had to go throught that MJ. That's pretty frikken horrible. I hope the jerk dies of lung cancer or something equally terrible.

[~wildangel~]

il give u two examples of what happened to me by my step dad.
one, me and my brother were 9 and 10. we had to help him put up a wardrobe. he expected us hold a heavy bit of wood above our heads for ages while he %%%%ed about gettin his tools ready, then coz the wood moved when he was finally ready to use it, he beat us both. then he "made up for it" by buyin us pizza.
second, i was 15, and he decided to look through my mobile phone, and one of my friends, who was a boy, had sent me a text with a swear word in it, as u do when ur 15.
so then for every boys name in my phone address book, he hit each of my hands with a wooden spoon. twice on each hand. and i mean hit it with force, he didnt jus tap it. i remember havin to beg him to believe me my friend sam really was a girl.
by the time he had finished my hands were so swollen up i couldnt close them even into a half fist.

so try and tell me being able to smack your kids is a good thing. some people ahv no control over their anger, they get angry at nothin and they think it is their right to do what they want.

OMG i skipped over this post after reading "spankins nnot a good idea" lol but SH1T that is totally abuse, that is so cold! That guy should have his testicles smacked with wooden spoons, maybe that will teach him! That's so so sad...geez, sorry you had to go through that :(

[MJ_junkie86]

yes he was a %%%%%%%. i hate him, when it came down to it tho, my brother didnt hav the guts to say anything to my mum, and she thought i was jus being difficult when my brother didnt back up what i was saying. every day walkijn to school, we talked about how much we hated him, but he never stuck up for himself, tho he didnt get it as bad as me, it was still tough on him

worse thing is i know it has affected me now. they say the abused go on to be the abusers, and that is so true. i hav a very short and violent temper. a few other things too. i cant remember one happy thing from my childhood, except when we had to look after our brother who at the time was about 4, and my step dad was sleepin upstairs, the utter joy we felt when we managed to keep our brother quiet all day, until 4.30pm on a sunday when my mum finished work and she would come home, and we mangaed not to wake him up, which ment we didnt hav to be with him alone that day. thats my happist memory.

he was in the algerian army, hes a muslem and hes from north africa, i think that had somethin to do with it.

jus came back from seeing my real dad and his wife, they are really nice. my real dad is very nice

MJ

[MJ_junkie86]

Talk to me when you have children also MJ until then if you don't have children you don't know what you're talking about..

im very offended by this post id.why because i dont hav kids do i not know what im talkin about? i hav two younger brothers, one of whom is 10 yrs younger than me, who i very often would baby sit for, my mum was a nursury nurse and all while i was growin up she looked after children in the house. my boyfriends has 2 kids, my sister has 2 kids. so dont tell me i hav no idea what im talkin about when it comes to this.

As for as the abusive step-father----mine had yours beat by 5 miles. My real father only spanked me once, after that he just had to say do or don't do something one time and I did it.


im very sorry to hear this also id. unfortunatly i wasnt allowed to see my real dad from the age of 10, also the time my step dad started to tighen his hold, funny that..
i only got in contact with my dad when i moved out at 18.
and you are jus assumin i was naughty and deserved all the abuse i got, well with him it wasnt a case of doing somethin right or wrong, everything was wrong. he grew up in a very different world to us.


and my i ask why sin gave me neg votes for tellin what my step dad done to me?
i think it makes the point perfectly well why spankin shouldnt be allowed.
maybe it makes him unconfortable to think that he is suporting this kind of abuse by allowin spanking?

MJ

[~wildangel~]

jus came back from seeing my real dad and his wife, they are really nice. my real dad is very nice

MJ

I'm glad you got to meet your real dad and he is good to you...i would have hated that other %%%%%%% too, what a d1ck. I hate people that beat on kids. I get mad when my husband spanks them and he doesn't even spank them hard at all and i hate it!

[Idnew]

im very offended by this post id.why because i dont hav kids do i not know what im talkin about? i hav two younger brothers, one of whom is 10 yrs younger than me, who i very often would baby sit for, my mum was a nursury nurse and all while i was growin up she looked after children in the house. my boyfriends has 2 kids, my sister has 2 kids. so dont tell me i hav no idea what im talkin about when it comes to this.
Baby sitting is quite different than having your own as I was the oldest of 7 and always was baby sitting my siblings.

im very sorry to hear this also id. unfortunatly i wasnt allowed to see my real dad from the age of 10, also the time my step dad started to tighen his hold, funny that..
i only got in contact with my dad when i moved out at 18.
My parents divorced when I was 9. My step-father and my mother married I guess before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. He was abusive the second we were loaded up in a car traveling to Florida from Texas. I won't even go into all the horrible things he did and not just to us steps but my mother had 3 more by him and he was also abusive to two of them. His little pet(my 5th sister) got by with murder though. While I did get to go back about 3 times to visit my father mostly I didn't get to see my dad as we were always being moved around since my step was in the Navy. I moved back to Texas at 17 and lived with my Aunt and that's when I started seeing my dad again. I also hate the ground my step walks on, not just for abusing us but my mother also.

and you are jus assumin i was naughty and deserved all the abuse i got, well with him it wasnt a case of doing somethin right or wrong, everything was wrongNo I'm not assuming that as that is how mine was. You couldn't please him no matter how hard you tried. Some people are just that way and especially if it's a step and your mother is also scared of him.

But normal parents that love their children will spank them when all else fails without it being abuse.

[Kuolema Nox]

Although I'm in favour of smacking, a fair point as been made. To me, like I said, a smack is just a light tap on the wrist or something, which I don't see a problem with, not all-out abuse. The problem comes when people have different definitions of it and parents may physically abuse their children and say they were only smacking them. It's hard to know where exactly to draw the line.

[~wildangel~]

I think drawing the line would be any kind of markings, to me that is abuse. I don't believe a kid should get a hand print across his face or anything like that, a spanking helps sometimes, as long as it's not too hard...